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The woman of your dreams is probably German. But, beware, dating culture here can be a bit different than you are perhaps used to — we even wrote a song about it. Sticking to your word and building trust means a great deal to us. German women also hold honesty in very high regard. Being very straightforward is hugely important. We are known for being a bit difficult to figure out at first and this certainly is a stereotype that holds true for most Germans.
When we first meet you, we might seem a bit more reserved than women from other cultures.
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It is absolutely, completely, fundamentally and unbearably shit. You know me, you guys, I love to slag off Germans. Making Germans think I hate them is basically a sexual fetish of mine. I have it written in lipstick on my mirror and everything. But the truth is, dating in Berlin is totally shit whether you are wasting your time with useless German boys or torturing yourself pointlessly with crappy non-German timewasters.
It is the shittiest thing that will ever happen to you.
There is only one country whose men and only men I try to avoid: Germany. What have German men ever done to deserve this? A friend of mine who has been in a long term relationship with a German man recently told me that if she wanted to have sex with him, she would write him an email informing him of her desire and the two would take it from there. I wish I was making this up. Have you ever tried to talk dirty with a German? If romance is dead, it was a German man that killed it.
From the offer of money for sex via Tinder to online dating messages consisting of cringe-worthy detailed descriptions of sexual acts, the perpetrators were always the same: German men. The submissions oscillate between gently cringey to projectile vomit-inducing. It seems the way German men express desire in writing is deeply flawed. Of course, courting has always been difficult and a recently released map showing which emoji is used most in which country educates us further on this ancient struggle.
That the see-no-evil monkey is preferred by Germans is something I blame entirely on German men trying to flirt. So dear reader, please trust me that if you ever receive an unsolicited dick pic, followed by an emoji of a monkey hiding its face, the sender is almost certainly a German man. I wish the Unicode developers had stuck with the traditional option of featuring a fourth monkey specifically for the German man: the do-no-evil-monkey covering his genitalia.
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What’s the official advice in Germany when it comes to dating in the time of corona? What’s the advice for sex and dating in Germany during the coronavirus ‘Black lives need to matter in Germany’: New project to uncover.
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